


in these arms where you belong

by deansfallenangel



Series: Skam Month [2]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Guru Sana Bakkoush, It's Not That Bad I Promise, Jealous Noora, Mild Angst, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, SKAM Month, Sana Bakkoush saves the day as always, Tinder is involved, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 05:30:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11753052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansfallenangel/pseuds/deansfallenangel
Summary: Noora has no right to be upset or jealous. She doesn’t. But as Eva leaves her apartment to go on a date with some random guy she has met on tinder, she can’t help but feel the pang of jealousy. Noora knows her chances of being with Eva are zero but that doesn’t mean her crush just goes away magically. She has been crushing on the other girl ever since they’ve met.Or in which Eva goes on a Tinder date and Noora finally snaps.





	in these arms where you belong

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! another nooreva fic for skam month, this time it's for week 3 day 2 - angst. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it <3
> 
> this is unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> enjoy <33

Noora has no right to be upset or jealous. She doesn’t. But as Eva leaves her apartment to go on a date with some random guy she has met on tinder, she can’t help but feel the pang of jealousy. Noora knows her chances of being with Eva are zero but that doesn’t mean her crush just goes away magically. She has been crushing on the other girl ever since they’ve met. Eva had been in a hurry, a complete and confused mess in the first week of uni when she ran into Noora, spilling her coffee all over Noora’s blouse. Luckily, it was an old one, and when Noora looked up from her now ruined blouse, ready to fight whoever did it, her words got stuck in her throat. The first thing that came to her mind was the word _beautiful_ , closely followed by _stunning_ and _absolutely gorgeous_. Eva was out of breath, her hair a mess and her cheeks rosy as a result of her running across campus to not be late for class. Before Noora had the chance to say anything, Eva was already apologizing, stumbling over her words, panic obvious in her voice. Noora only smiled as she put her hand on her shoulder, trying to calm this beautiful girl down and get her to stop. She stilled immediately, her beautiful eyes going wide as she first looked down on her shoulder and then up at Noora.

“It’s okay,” Noora told her with a genuine smile on her face, “I was about to throw that one away, anyway. Was only a matter of time.”

Eva nodded slowly, the tension visibly seeping out of her as she started relaxing again. “Okay, okay. I’m still sorry and I wanna make it up to you. How about coffee?” she asked, head tilted slightly in question as a small grin spreads across her face.

“If you don’t spill it on me again, then sure, I would love to,” Noora replied, slightly laughing, “I’m Noora.”

Eva reciprocated her laugh, a beautiful sound cutting through the rather cold air, as Noora held her hand out which Eva willingly took. “Eva.”

Even back then Noora thought that Eva was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, and her crush had only gotten worse as time progressed. Because not only was Eva beautiful, she was also incredibly funny and kind and smart. Noora always looked forward to their meetings and their late night talks spent in Noora’s bed. Eva was so much fun to hang out with, and while they had their funny conversations, they could also talk about the infinity of the universe and if any of them even had a purpose in this world. Long story short, Noora loved hanging out with Eva but with every time she also fell a little bit more in love with her.

Still doesn’t mean that she has any right to be jealous because Eva is _not hers_ and she can do whatever she wants whenever she wants with whoever she wants. Though, that rational thought leaves her when she gets a text from Eva, saying how great the guy is and that she’s going to stay the night but she will make sure to come eat breakfast with her in the morning.

When Noora tries to fall asleep that night, she thinks of Eva in another man’s arms. She doesn’t sleep at all.

It feels like she only slept about five minutes when she hears a knock on her door, which she knows can only be Eva. She gets up annoyedly, walks over to the door and can barely manage a smile when she opens it. Eva’s smile is big when she greets her and she’s literally glowing, that kind of glow you usually have after great sex. Noora wants to throw up.

She invites her in, gesturing to the dining table where Eva takes a seat, while Noora disappears into the kitchen. “Sorry for not preparing anything. I just woke up,” she calls from the other room, piling plates, food and drinks on a tray.

“Did I wake you?” Eva asks as Noora reenters the room and nods in reply. “I’m sorry, I thought you were already awake. It’s like 10 and you’re usually up around this time.”

Eva is right. Noora is a morning person, always getting up at 8 at the latest. She enjoys the early mornings, the quiet before everything turns into the usual loud turmoil. It is calming, liberating in some way to sit on a balcony and watch the sun rise over Oslo. But last night Noora barely slept, her mind always reminding her that Eva was in someone’s bed that wasn’t hers.

Not wanting to admit the real reason why she couldn’t sleep, she shrugs and forces herself to smile at her friend. “Just couldn’t sleep. It’s nothing,” she promises, the urge to throw up rising again because it just doesn’t feel right to lie to her. But on the other hand, she can’t just admit she has the biggest crush on her biggest crush, can she?

Eva seems to buy it because she just smiles and tells her that Noora can talk to her about anything if she needs to, which makes her smile and she nods gratefully. Noora can always rely on Eva to be there for her. One of her many great qualities.

Finally, Noora sets down the tray and takes a seat opposite of Eva, giving her one of the plates and pouring both of them a glass of orange juice. After she put the food on the table, she places the tray on the chair next to her. When she spreads the strawberry jam on her slice of bread, Eva speaks up again, bringing up the conversation she dreaded and she is not quite ready to have.

“Okay but last night? One of the best nights I’ve _ever_ had,” Eva tells her excitedly.

Noora refrains from rolling her eyes since she’s not exactly in the mood to hear about this. Instead she takes a bite from her bread as she tries to muster a smile while chewing. As she swallows, she contemplates her answer and concludes to just go for it and be honest even though she knows Eva’s reply can possibly hurt her. “Are you going to see him again?”

Eva thinks for a moment before shrugging carelessly. “Maybe? I don’t know. It’s usually not my thing to hook up with someone twice. But damn, he was really good, might change my policy for him,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, and Noora can’t help but smile at how ridiculous her best friend is.

“Don’t you ever get tired of it? Of hooking up with random guys?” Noora finally asks, raising an eyebrow in question.

Again, Eva shrugs like she doesn’t have a single care in the world, and grins at her smugly. “I also hook up with girls.”

“Not the question,” Noora says pointedly and takes a sip of her orange juice, “I don’t know, don’t you ever feel the urge to be in a relationship with someone and experience these things with them?”

“Sometimes. But until I find that person I’m going to hook up with other people.”

Noora’s sigh is barely audible before she answers, “But what if you never find this person because you keep hooking up with others? And you don’t see the person that’s right in front of you because of it?”

Eva knits her eyebrows in confusion as she asks, “what?”

“I don’t know, I just think you should stop hooking up with strangers from the internet,” Noora says, shrugging her shoulders when she meets Eva’s eyes.

Eva shakes her head, apparently not quite getting the memo of what Noora is saying. “What? You were the one who suggested looking for dates on Tinder. I don’t understand what your problem with this suddenly is?”

“I didn’t think you would actually do it!” she exclaims and pointedly ignores her last question. She doesn’t need to know that it’s because Noora can’t stand the thought of Eva not being with her, not being in her arms at night, not wanting her.

Eva narrows her eyes at her and lets out a sigh, rubbing a hand over her face in frustration. “Why are you suddenly making such a big deal out of this? You’ve never cared before and even encouraged it. I don’t get it.”

Noora avoids her eyes as she admits with a quiet voice, “they don’t deserve you, okay?” Which obviously confuses Eva even more because the annoyance is very obvious on her face and in her voice when she says again, “what? They don’t deserve me? Who deserves me then?”

“Someone who cares!” Noora suddenly snaps, the words coming out more aggressively than she intended, and if she didn’t know her friend so well, she would have almost missed her flinch.

“What makes you think they don’t care?” Eva enquires, voice steady, as she raises her eyebrows expectantly and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

Noora snorts, actually snorts, when she replies, “please. You think they actually care about you? You’re just someone to fuck for them, nothing else. They don’t care about anything else. It’s not rocket science, Eva.” She regrets the words as soon as they leave her mouth and clasps a hand over it immediately. Usually, Noora would talk about these kind of things in a rather cautious way as if she is talking to a hurt animal, wanting to deliver the news as gentle as possible. But Noora is tired and jealous and she doesn’t want to watch the person she is in love with sleep with other people anymore. For a moment, she forgot about the whole ‘Eva can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants whenever she wants’ and thought about what she wanted. Wasn’t her best idea.

“What the fuck? What has gotten into you?” Eva wants to know angrily, doing nothing to hide her rage. She puts down her slice of bread and stands up, shaking her head. As Eva grabs her jacket and stomps towards the door, she turns around one last time, her gaze burning through Noora who sits there frozen. “Seriously, what the fuck. Call me when you’re back to normal.” And with that, she vanishes through the door, leaving a dumbfounded Noora behind who is still trying to grasp what the fuck has just happened.

“Fuck,” she mutters after a few seconds as she gets up, runs to the door and after Eva but she hears the front door shut when she gets out on the hallway. Noora decides against following Eva, considering how she probably wants to be left alone now, and instead goes back inside and slides down her apartment door, sighing heavily and burying her head in her hands. Fuck, how could she fuck up so badly? She let her jealousy take over and obviously hurt Eva in the process, and hurting her best friend is the last thing she wants to do. She needs to make this right again.

 

\--

 

Noora gives Eva the space she probably needs after their breakfast disaster for a few days. She wants both of them to calm down a bit, so they can talk things out. It’s complete radio silence between them and Noora decides to break it when she misses her best friend too much and the ache in her heart hurts too much. She doesn’t know what she expected but she kind of expected Eva to at least pick up her phone. But that doesn’t happen. So she shoots her a text, asking if they can talk about all of this, which is also left unanswered. This goes on for days, Noora calling her, texting her, but Eva keeping ignoring her. It hurts Noora’s every fiber in her body that Eva doesn’t want to talk to her but she guesses she deserves that. She tries not to get angry with her because that would surely ruin things even more.

After not having talked to Eva for ten days, two hours and 5 minutes, she texts Sana and asks if they can meet up, Noora desperately needing someone to talk to. They meet the same day in one of the coffee shops, Noora ordering a latte while Sana goes with a hot chocolate. They sit in silence for a bit, both of them just nursing their drinks. Eventually, Noora quickly fills Sana in on what happened, and she only nods knowingly.

“When are you going to tell her that you love her?” Sana finally asks and raised her eyebrows expectantly.

Noora is stunned into silence because she definitely doesn’t expect that reaction but she supposes that there is no point in denying her feelings for Eva. After all, that is the reason why she asked Sana to meet up in the first place. She sighs heavily and shrugs. “Never,” Noora scoffs, though there’s a certain sadness behind it. “Eva probably hates me.” And saying those words alone is breaking her heart into a million tiny pieces. The last thing she has ever wanted is for Eva to hate her. All she has ever wanted is to make her happy and laugh but she has obviously failed right there. She buries her head in her hands and restrains herself from screaming.

She can hear Sana sigh and peeks between her fingers just in time to see her shake her head. Noora pries her hands away and looks up at that. Her face asks the silent question of ‘What?’, confusion written all over her face, but Sana just shakes her head again. “Eva loves you more than anything. That’s why she’s so hurt. Sure, she may be upset with you but she could never hate you. Not if she wanted to, not if she tried.”

Noora nods as she processes her words, desperately wanting to believe them. “There is only one problem though. Eva doesn’t love me like that. She only sees me as her best friend,” she protests and sighs sadly.

Sana’s reaction is one she doesn’t expect yet again. She rolls her eyes exasperatedly, and gives Noora a pointed look that says, ‘Sure Jan, keep telling yourself that.’ Noora tilts her head in confusion, brows furrowing, as she is waiting for Sana to elaborate. Sana finally does, though she keeps her answer short. “You two are so oblivious. Eva is literally in love with you.”

“Wait, what?” Noora asks surprised, eyebrows high on her forehead. “But why does she keep meeting up with people from Tinder then? Why is she ignoring all my calls and texts?”

Sana shrugs unbothered, taking a sip from her hot chocolate. “You have to ask her that yourself. I can’t give you the answers to these questions,” she simply replies.

Noora finishes her latte and ponders Sana’s words, asking herself how the fuck she is going to do that if Eva keeps ignoring her.

 

\--

 

It’s been 14 days and 2 minutes since the last time Noora has talked to Eva, and the hole in her heart only gets bigger with every minute that passes in which she isn’t talking to her. She aches for Eva so badly and not being with her makes everything only worse.

She is out grocery shopping when she suddenly bumps into someone. When she looks up, Noora quickly realizes it’s Eva, and she can’t help but smile softly at her. She has missed her so much and finally seeing her again fills her with warmth from head to toe. Though, it vanishes again rapidly as she takes a closer look at Eva, at the dark bags under her eyes, the way her shoulders are mostly hunched over, the tiredness she emits. It physically pains her to look at her, and when the realization hits her that this is probably her fault, her chest restricts and breathing becomes hard suddenly. When Eva recognizes Noora, she wipes at her eyes and puts on a smile.

“Hi,” they say simultaneously, making them both laugh lightly. They stare at each other for a moment when silence falls over them. Noora breaks the eye contact eventually and looks down, shuffling her food around awkwardly.

The silence between starts to get uncomfortable, so Noora breaks it by saying the first thing that comes to her mind, “wanna grab a coffee with me? My treat.” She doesn’t expect Eva to say yes - wouldn’t blame her if she said no - but desperately wants her to. So she is pleasantly surprised, to say the least, when she receives a silent nod.

Noora’s face lights up at that and she starts walking into the direction of their usual coffee place, turning around to make sure Eva is following her. Eva takes three long strides until she catches up with Noora, now walking beside her. They walk for around five minutes until they reach the coffee shop, and Noora orders her usual latte and Eva her usual simple coffee. They sit down in the far corner of the shop, wanting some privacy from the otherwise busy shop.

Noora doesn’t want this to get uncomfortable again, so she cut right to the chase of the matter. “I’m so sorry, Eva,” she blurts out suddenly, “I regret everything I said so, so much.”

“Why did you say it then?” she whispers coldly and folds her hands around her cup of coffee.

She takes a deep breath and supposes she has nothing to lose, so she might as well tell her the truth. She doesn’t want to lie to Eva any longer and if she wants to make things somewhat better, she can’t keep lying. Eva deserves the truth. “I was jealous,” Noora finally confesses, busying herself with the straw in her latte while avoiding Eva’s gaze.

“Why?”

“Because you went on these dates with all these people and I was jealous because that wasn’t _me_. I want to go on dates with you and hold your hand. Eva, you’re so much more than just a friend for me.”

“Really?” Eva wonders softly, and Noora nods shortly. “Then why did you always encourage me to meet these people? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Noora shrugs. “I don’t know. I thought we were never gonna be a thing and that this Tinder thing was what you wanted and I just wanted you to be happy,” she explains quietly.

Eva shakes her head vehemently. “No, this isn’t what I truly wanted. Sure, it was fun and all but I only met those people in order to distract myself from you, to forget about you because I thought we were never gonna be a thing. You encouraged this which made me believe you didn’t feel the same way about me.” She pauses for a second, then continues, “I’ve always wanted you, Noora.”

Noora doesn’t quite know how to react to that but slowly a smile starts to spread over her lips, taking over her whole face until smiling hurts too much. She ached to reach out and take Eva’s hand, thinking that she has permission now, so she does exactly that, tentatively covering her hand with her own. Eva turns her hand around and intertwines their fingers, smiling broadly at Noora. She reciprocates that smile and squeezes her hand slightly.

“I’ve always wanted you, too,” Noora finally admits with a big smile on her face, and then adds, “I’m really sorry about what I said. Can you please forgive me?”

Eva gives her a soft smile. “Of course. Apology accepted,” she reassures Noora with a nod of her head.

“How about we make a deal? No more assumptions about what the other feels? Just be honest with each other and openly talk about stuff? Deal?” Noora suggests and looks questioningly at Eva.

She nods her agreement. “Deal."

“So, does that make you my girlfriend now?” Noora asks and can seriously not suppress her huge smile. She is just so happy, and if Eva says yes now, she will be with the girl of her dreams. Noora can’t imagine anything better.

“Only if you want to,” Eva says, suddenly shy, as a blush paints her cheeks and she is nervously rubbing the back of her neck.

“Of course.”

Noora gives her a warm smile and watching Eva’s face light up at her words and her blush deepen, she thinks that maybe all of this was eventually worth the drama.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it!! come yell at me on [tumblr](http://cheekyeven.tumblr.com/) about nooreva. <3


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